The Best Fitness Routine EVER!

The Best Fitness Routine EVER!

Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to you another CUTTING FITNESS exclusive!

After spending ten long seconds in deep thought, and using the best of my fitness ‘expertise’, I have devised the BEST FITNESS ROUTINE…EVER! That’s right! If you’re sick and tired of fun, effective, body sculpting, toning, ab definition, etc then follow this plan to achieve the ultimate success! Even better, you can tailor the program to suit your needs.

Read on.

1. Exercise Duration

Ideally, the BEST FITNESS ROUTINE EVER should last for 3-4 hrs every day.Yes, workouts like HIIT burn more fat long term BUT we’re not talking about that! Choose ‘steady state’ cardio so you can workout for hours. Do less than 3 hrs and you’re lazy. Do more than 4hrs and you’re a show off. Stick to the plan!


2. Morning Workouts

Now it’s time to plan how you’ll break up the 3-4 hr long workout. Exercise in the morning, but you must complete the whole session (3-4hrs) before 11:59:59 am. After 12pm you’ve entered the afternoon, which is closer to the evening. The evening leads to the night, and you know what happens at night, don’t you? Your metabolism slooooooows down and stores everything you eat, drink, and breathe as fat! If you don’t believe me, try it! Eat ONE grape at 10pm and see what happens on the scale tomorrow…

3. Body Toning

Some people believe weights will make you bulky. Others say strength training makes you slim. Assume they’re both right and wrong by compromising! Lift light weights (no more than 0.5kg/1lb) at least 5 times a week – every day if you’ve got a close deadline. This way you’ll enjoy a slight tingle while you tone, but no burn or soreness with BIG muscles. Remember, women shouldn’t be physically strong. That’s what men are for.


4. Push Through Injuries

So-called experts say you shouldn’t exercise when injured. As usual, I disagree. When you’re working out and injured, the pain pushes you to finish faster. If you slack off then remember this: the longer you workout the worse your injury will be. Waste enough time and your injury could end up being permanent, so hurry up!!!!

5. Repetition, Repetition, Repetition!

Whatever exercise you choose, do it forever. Your body will get used to the routine, and burn less calories as a result, but so what? By that time you’ll be maintaining your weight and fitness, so calorie burn won’t matter anymore. Yes, you might get bored and stop working out altogether, but that’s your problem, not mine. I don’t care It doesn’t matter how many reps or sets you do, but I suggest at least 200 reps of 50 sets every day.

Now you know the BEST FITNESS ROUTINE EVER! I shouldn’t have revealed this industry secret, but I know you’ll keep it to yourself. If you’ve been wondering how Michelle Obama got those arms, Britney got those abs, and Beyonce got those legs, and the cast of 300 got everything…Keep wondering. Anyway, this routine should get you in shape fast! Obey the 5 rules and you’ll be smoking hot on the beach (Hot dudes!) or wind up in hospital with serious injury (Hot nurses!). See why this is the BEST FITNESS ROUTINE…ever?



Photo: Image courtesy of RyanMcGuire/pixabay.com.

4 thoughts on “The Best Fitness Routine EVER!

  1. Hey, really great blog posts… I’ve enjoyed reading through your blog because of the great style and energy you put into each post. I actually run AceHealth.org, a blog of my personal research and experiences. If you’re interested, I would love to have you on as a guest blogger. Please send me an e-mail: bob.mauer65(at)gmail(dot)com, and I can give you more information. Looking forward to hearing from you.

  2. Nice tips… The only thing I would say though is that pushing through the injury is a good idea, but one that you do need to be careful of. I understand what you are saying, but I would hate someone to not listen to their own body, and then further injure their body!

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